• Set clear rules/guidelines about the split between work/family life and stick to them.
• No one else is going to protect your family life but you, so you need to. In Sheryl Sandbergs case this is family dinners, it could be family evenings when children are older etc.
• Set up your vision of what this is and stick to it.

Be 100% responsible for your life

Its a hard truth to accept, but the only person that is responsible for the quality of the life that you live is yourself. If you want to be successful then you need to give up complaining and blaming others.  You need to take charge of your life and that means be accountable for the successes and the failures that you have created. Albeit this is a colossal shift for some people, but once you take accountability for your outcomes, and do less of what’s not working and more of what is, then you create more of what you want.

Believe in yourself

Essentially this is about you giving up the phrase “I can’t” I find my children inspiring and all the things they have accomplished in their 3 or 4 short years.  I rarely hear them say I cant…stand, walk, run, feed myself etc.  Its the opposite, they want to learn all the time.  We have conditioned ourselves to say “I cant” and to be truly successful you need to find that belief in yourself again. Call it self esteem, self confidence whatever but you need to find that core belief in yourself, your talents and your abilities.

JDIN – just do it now!

Once you know what it is that you want to do, the key is to get started.  A mistake a lot of people make is to sit about and wait until they are perfectly ready to..start a new business, change job, improve your finances etc.  Qualifications are important, so if you need more training go and get it but don’t let this put you off starting on your path to achieve your goal.  You need to make a start, small steps at first and you will see your confidence grow as you achieve more and learn more by doing what you want to do. No one else can do it for you, you need to get on and just do it now!

So in summary then, once you decide what you want to do, believe that you can do it and then go after your goal.  You will be amazed at what you can achieve.

If you have any recent success stories, please get in touch with me, I would love to hear from you.

Below you will find my top tips for job seeking in the current market conditions.

• Make a plan
• If you are looking for a new job have a plan. Set aside dedicated time for job seeking and decide when and how much time you will spend on each activity from on-line applications to sending off speculative CV’s. This will keep you focused on your job search.
• Be flexible
• You need to be prepared to move from your dream job, especially in the current climate.  You need to be flexible on what you want.  E.g. consider a side-ways move, either same job in a different industry or a different job in the same industry you currently work in.  Remember, it’s easier to be inside than knocking on the door.
• Use LinkedIn
• Network, network, network…and the best way at the moment is LinkedIn. Create a profile, upload your CV and join groups and take part in discussions that are relevant to your industry. You can also connect with companies that interest you.
• Tailor your CV 
• Tweak your application to each job making it relevant to the position you have applied to.  Ensure you present your achievements clearly but keep it to 2 pages otherwise hiring managers won’t read it.

For further hints and tips about the above, please don’t hesitate to get in touch with me.

Good luck with your job search!

When we are moving away from something we have known for a long time, for example changing jobs, we are moving outside our comfort zone.  We often feel fear (can also be labelled as anxiousness or nervousness) and this fear can be paralysing, hence we stick with our lot.

You may already be familiar with Susan Jeffers book, “Feel the Fear and Do It Anyway,” an excellent read (maybe if you are at a loose end over the Christmas holidays…) as it gives you ways of dealing with this fear.

Below I have very briefly summarised five truths about fear to help you overcome your fears.

• Truth 1: As you continue to do new things in your life, you will always experience fear.
• Fear is part and parcel of doing new things.  If you are sitting about and waiting until the fear has gone, you will wait a long time. Disappointing I know, fear will always be there but you need to learn to let go of getting rid of it.
• Truth 2: To get rid of fear you need to go out and do whatever it is you are afraid of!
• “Doing it” comes before the fear goes away i.e. once you have faced the unknown and survived, the fear passes.  And, your confidence of doing new things grows.
• Truth 3: “Doing it” is the only way you will feel better about yourself.
• When you have mastered something the fear goes and your confidence grows. You will feel good and, maybe even decide to something else too!
• Truth 4: Not only are you afraid when facing the unknown, so is everyone else!
• This should be a relief. You are not the only one out there feeling fear. Everyone feels fear when taking a step into the unknown. Yes, all those people who have succeeded in doing what they have wanted to do in life have felt the fear – and did it anyway. So can you!
• Truth 5: Overcoming the fear is less frightening than living with the fear that comes from a feeling of helpless!
• This is difficult to accept but when you push through the fear, you will feel such a sense of relief as your feeling of helplessness subsides. You will become more and more aware that you can truly handle anything that life hands you.

In summary, you can’t escape the fear of doing something new. It’s a normal feeling.  People who don’t take risks in life live with a feeling of dread that keeps them standing still.  This is far worse than if they were to take the risks needed to make them less helpless.

You know you can’t deny it and I bet the people around you at work know too…you can’t hide it.  But you continue day in day out.   The long and short of it is that when we don’t love what we do we end up going through the motions at work. 

Our heart is a vital organ and makes up its own mind; its own direction in life.  Do you know what you don’t want to do?  Many of my clients can give me an arms length of jobs they hate and don’t want to do. 

Head and Heart at Work
We have become indoctrinated in the UK to believe that you should not use your heart at work.  In other words, we should leave our emotions at the door and we should be concentrating on the rational and logical thinking aspects of work.  Should we then be surprised when heart disease is one of the biggest killers in the western world?

We are brought up to work hard and do your best. But hard work (at best is boring and at worst can cause misery and pain) when our hearts not in it, puts us out of alignment with our purpose in life i.e. heart work.  When you are engaged in heart work you are able to connect and engage in something that you love doing and work in partnership with people to make success much easier.

So how to you find something that you want to do?

Listen to your heart and you will soon discover the work that you love. Your heart shows the way and your head works out how to get there ie the path that you need to take. I get many people contacting me as they want to find work that they love, i.e. heart work.  I hear from them that they want to move but they are stuck. 

Really…their not stuck, this is just an excuse.  What they are really saying to me is they aren’t prepared to:

• Take a risk
• Adjust their lifestyle in the short term
• Take the time to discover what else they can do and what they are good at
• Make the effort to go back to studying (and even do some part time work)

So really, they are not stuck but they are telling me they are not motivated enough to do it.

Has this got you thinking what’s been stopping you?  Grab a cuppa and pen and paper and think about the following:

• Choose an unfilled ambition – something you’ve always loved to do.
• Write down all the reasons and excuses you’ve told yourself, and others, over the years about why you haven’t made the change.
• Now answer the following question honestly – what would create enough motivation for me to get going on this dream?  What comes to mind?

And, start now!

Why not get in touch with me and let me know about your “heart work”, I’d love to hear from you.

Many of us now feel that we need to keep going with a job we hate because it pays the bills and offers us a lifestyle that we have been very accustomed to.

Sounds familiar? Perhaps only when you have a life changing event, such as having children etc do you really sit back and evaluate your priorities and purpose in life. Even then, many of us continue on the same path in the belief that we can’t afford to change now.

I believe wholeheartedly that the fear of money running out or not having enough money is the biggest block to my clients finding a job they love.

To help you tackle this block and unravel your money fears, I have prepared the following questions. Sit down with a coffee and think about the following questions:

• What is your earliest memory of money?
• How important is money as a goal in itself to you?
• How much money would make you happy?
• Finish the following sentence: If only I had money I would….
• Be honest with yourself – is lack of money really stopping you having the career you want?

For many of my clients, they feel that money is stopping them doing what they want to do. So I work with them in early sessions to help them understand that money is essential to life but lack of money is not really the reason why we don’t do what we want to do in our career.

Once my clients understand that money is achieved as a result of doing something they love, they are ready to move ahead and discover exactly what that is.

My next career tip will help you with this. I will be helping you gain a sense of your passions and how you can find work and really put your heart into it.

I frequently hear this from my new clients. 

I think that all roles offer some element for achieving satisfaction and learning and for making a contribution.  However, if you really hate your job and can’t leave for whatever reason, then I have written the following article specifically with you in mind.

In order to get a job you love you need to concentrate on your present role.  If you wish to effectively manage your career you will need to develop skills in self awareness and a method for exploiting the present and getting the most out of your current role.

I believe there are 3 strategies available for you to use right now, in any role no matter how much you hate it:

1. Reduce the negative elements as much as possible – this is any element of your job that blocks satisfaction of your key career motivations or unique talents. Like all us humans, jobs too will have strengths and weaknesses (positives and negatives).  Actively work hard to stop the negative elements of your current role turning into irritation or bitterness.  A couple of suggestions here are:
   • If you feel undervalued in your current role then ensure that you clearly articulate your true strengths and talents to your boss.
   • If you feel there is nowhere to go, look to develop in new areas which will open up other options for you within your role/organisation etc.
2. Building in positive elements – when I seek out people that I deem to have successfully managed their career, a common thread amongst them is that they are able to look above their current concerns.  They are able to identify how their current job contributes to their long term career plan.  Thus, they take action to increase the positive elements in their role. 
   Once you know exactly what is expected of you, you have the opportunity to take steps to ensure you increase your influence in a role.
   Ensuring you know the answers to the following questions is key:
   • What are the objectives of the role?  Which are most important?  How will I know when I am successful?
   • What responsibilities do I have?
   • If I have a problem, who can help me?
3. What got you here wont get you there – I’m sorry to burst your bubble, but simply being good at your job is not good enough.  You need to prepare for the future and part of that is achieving visibility in your current role.  My top tips here include things like being helpful, building trust, communicating your achievements and being able to get things done.  Being active in seeking out tasks that have clearly identifiable results (and being able to deliver good results) are good opportunities for you to develop your career in your current role.

I believe that a job is made up of lots of different parts.  Although new clients tell me they hate their job, and I never doubt that they feel this way, I work with them early on in our relationship to establish the factors that they do hate..and indeed the elements that they enjoy!

If you would like more information on this please don’t hesitate to get in touch.

I have identified the following interview offences from my experience working in HR Departments over the years. Fall foul of the following offences at interview, and I bet you won’t be offered the job.

1. Nervous mannerisms – no matter how experienced you are and able to convey this verbally at interview, little ques that you give off can give a hiring manager a real insight.  Things such as limp handshake, continually avoiding eye contact and constant fidgeting…with hands, hair etc are sure to turn off employers.
2. Lack of self confidence – you want to come across as confident in yourself and your abilities.  After all, an employer is buying your experience so if you don’t demonstrate this at interview you will be letting yourself down and unlikely to get the job.  Things to avoid here include:
   1. Pitch of voice – speaking so quietly you can’t be heard or so loudly that half the corridor hears you.
   2. Downplaying or being self critical about yourself and your achievements
   3. Interrupting the interviewr
   4. Answering questions hesitantly or with one word answers.
3. First Impressions - We all know that first impressions count, so be aware that in your eagerness to please that you have not overdone the perfume (or aftershave…for the gents out there!) or that you have bad breath – smelling of garlic, tobacco or strong drink is a definite no no too.
4. Consideration for others – during the interview, more often than not, a hiring manager will be assessing your ability to fit into the exiting team structure.  Not necessarily a “face fits” approach, just considering whether you will be able to work alongside others within the department. So committing offences such as being extremely critical towards a previous employer, or lack of courtesy to the person arranging the interview or the receptionist are all tell tale signs that will put doubt in the hiring managers mind.
5. Your personal values – not this is a personality contest as such, and yes it is about your skills and experience, however a successful working relationship requires trust and confidence on both sides, so major put off’s such as lying, lack or motivation, arrogance to others and irresponsibility are likely to make an employer think twice about offering you the post.

In summary then, reference books will give you plenty of hints for effective interview preparation and countless example interview questions, however few will offer inside information about what really put’s off employers at interviews. 
 
If you take time to consider the above offences before your next interview, I am sure you will sail through with no problems.
 
Got an interview coming up and would like further coaching from me, then please don’t hesitate to contact me at kerry@claritycareercoaching.co.uk

1. You will already know one person that can really help you within your close circle of contacts.
2. You will find a job through someone you meet in the next 6 moths as word of mouth is much more successful than any other method of job hunting.
3. Best results come from the 3rd level of networking:

• Level 1 – people you know well
• Level 2 – people you vaguely know
• Level 3 – people you don’t know at all now – these people uncover the hidden job market for you and have no assumptions about you.

So in summary therefore, start today to grow your personal network of contacts by seeking out people that you are genuinely interested in and begin sharing information and helping them.  Be open to the numerous opportunities that are waiting out there for you to explore.
 
I wish you all the best in exploring your networks.
 
For more information about using LinkedIn for job seeking, check out the following article I have written: Common Pitfalls when using LinkedIn for Job Seeking.

In this post I am going to introduce you to a 5 step plan to help you get a job you’ll love. It will help you move from thinking about your new job to actually taking steps to get it. I often use the following steps with my clients as it really gets results. It is loosely based on the ADEPT model as shown below:

• Adjust to Change – this is your starting point:
  • What’s the problem with your current job?
  • What is missing from in your career?
  • Has something changed in your life that you need to accept?
• Discovering what’s possible – what do you have to offer:
  • Look at your skills, personality, motivations, and talents.
  • What are your goals?
  • What choices do you have?
• Exploring what is available – finding out about the current marketplace:
  • Have some fun researching various career fields.
  • Soon you will be moving on to creating your own job search plan.
• Pitching your personal message – Ensure that everything that you communicate shows who you are and what your are looking for.
  • A key point to remember is that all your messages need to be aligned. E.g. what your CV says about you matches with what you say at interview and so on.
• Targeting – i.e. the focus of your job search:
  • What organisations/sectors/industries are you going to contact that are an excellent match to your skills and experience?

If you would like any further information on the above, please don’t hesitate to contact me on 07846 315992 or kerry@claritycareercoaching.co.uk. I’d love to hear from you.